yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize