im gay
i know
yea but for you.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
