Well douche your snatch and let's go!
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
