i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
