@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
