You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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