Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize