I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
