C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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