I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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