my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
time to smoke my breakfast
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
