Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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