God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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