I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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