She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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