I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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