Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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