party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
