we're chasing vodka with high fives
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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