Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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