did you get engaged???
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
