im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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