they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
