I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
