Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
