i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
