i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
