i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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