your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I understand Curling. That high.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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