I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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