Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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