there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
