Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
