Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize