Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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