I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
