paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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