Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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