I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
