What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Randomize