so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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