How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
