oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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