Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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