i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
