I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
