I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
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