The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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