U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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