I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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