I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
