Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
