So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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