two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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