People with herpes should wear stickers.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
